


Things Learned Along the Way

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-21
Updated: 2008-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 01:45:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1624970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel and Tobias, in the AU where no one died.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things Learned Along the Way

**Author's Note:**

> Written for damalur

 

 

My name is Rachel, but you should know that already. If my name's not familiar, go crack open any history book that was written in the last few years. Look in the index under Yeerk invasion, or Animorphs. 

Yeah, I'm _that_ Rachel. 

You've seen me on television. I've been on the talk shows, though not as often as Marco, and of course the news networks just love to replay that one clip where I decked a reporter. 

She had it coming. The only thing I regret about that incident is that I didn't hit her harder. There are some things you just don't ask, not to someone who has given up as much as Tobias. 

Things have been difficult for all of us Animorphs since the war ended. We all have nightmares. Some of us are seeing therapists, some are dealing with it - or not dealing with it - in our own ways. 

No, you don't get to know which of us are going which route. 

The point is, things have been especially hard on Tobias. We both knew that when the war ended and we no longer needed to fight, he would have to choose. Every day I got older and his human morph didn't. The age difference wasn't big enough to be awkward yet, but it would be eventually. 

I've never lacked in self confidence. In fact, ask people who knew me in school and they'll tell you it was exactly the opposite. I've never needed anyone's approval or acceptance. But I've never felt so valued, so special, as when Tobias chose to become human again for me. 

I've never felt so guilty, either. If he had chosen the skies I wouldn't held it against him. 

I didn't ask Tobias to do it, and he didn't tell me until it was done. I would have stayed by his side during the final two hours. Instead, just a few days after the war was ended, he showed up at my door as a human and told me it wasn't just a morph any longer. 

Perhaps he didn't want me watching, in case he morphed back at the last minute. I wonder sometimes if he managed it the first time, or if he backed out and had to try again later. This is the kind of thing I will never, ever ask him. 

The Andalites were upset, in their subdued, snooty way. None of them wanted to accept that the Ellimist had walked out of their folktales and into real life. They wanted to study Tobias, to poke and prod the morphing _nothlit_ until they could find a scientific explanation. They lost that chance when Tobias lost his wings. 

That was difficult, and there have been some rough patches since then. After our identities were made public, his relatives turned up. The same aunt and uncle who didn't want him when he was a kid, who had passed him back and forth all through his childhood, saw their ticket to fame and fortune in him. 

Tobias doesn't talk about his childhood very much, but I know enough to hate them. 

That's what the Reporter Incident was about, in part. The reporter had talked with Tobias' aunt, and had some pretty unflattering quotes from her. After that day, his aunt and uncle haven't come looking for handouts again, at least not while I was around to see them. 

The first time we traveled by plane after the war was the first time Tobias had ever flown on a plane as an ordinary human. Tobias had the window seat and spent the first twenty minutes of the flight gazing out, before he abruptly asked me to switch places with him. 

I've been thinking of the look on his face a lot lately. I want to give him back at least a little of what he once had. 

Skydiving might offer amazing views from up high, but it was right out. It wasn't a Tobias thing to do. It was the sort of thing adrenaline junkies did, the sort of thing I might have done if I'd never been involved in the war. And anyways, falling is nothing at all like flying. 

Eventually I wound up looking up flying lessons and the requirements for a pilot's license online. It wouldn't be difficult to do, and we could certainly afford it, but the question was: would he actually enjoy it, or would it just be a painful reminder of something he could no longer have? 

I was so involved with my research and my thoughts that I didn't realize Tobias was home until he found me at the computer. 

"You're taking flying lessons? I would have thought you'd be more interested in the extreme and very dangerous kinds of sports." 

I started when he spoke, and turned around to face him. "They're not for me," I said, and then I decided the only way to know how he'd react was to try him. "I've been trying to decide if buying you lessons as a birthday present would be a good idea or if it would be an offensive, cheap replacement."

Tobias went very still, his face expressionless. Sometimes you could still see traces of the hawk, if you knew what to look for. 

"I don't know if I'm offended," he said after a long moment of silence. "I've never thought about it." 

"Let me know if you make up your mind. I've still got a few weeks before your birthday, and I've been thinking about some more conventional presents, too." 

Tobias was still staring at me. "You've given this a lot of thought." It wasn't a question. 

"It's important. You're important." 

Then Tobias smiled, the same sweet, shy smile he had when we first met. "I'll need to think about the lessons. I guess I'm more surprised that you're going to so much trouble for me." 

"It's not trouble _because_ it's you," I told him impatiently. We'd had conversations like this before. 

"I'm still not used to having someone who cares about me so much." 

Have I mentioned how much I really, really hate his aunt and uncle? 

"Get used to it," I said lightly. The flying lessons didn't matter. It didn't matter if he accepted them or if I wound up buying him a bottle of aftershave. What mattered was being there for him. "I plan on being around for a long time." 

 


End file.
